LOVE

  It’s been quite a long time since I have written something on my blog page. They say there is a phase in everyone’s life where one gets lost in chaos. Probably I was going through the same for past few months. It took me months to find myself back again. After lots of travel and work, I finally took a long vacation just to be at home and do nothing.

              Now that I wanted to start the “writing” again, I asked my friend who is a writer to give me a topic on which I can start writing.

              She immediately said “Love”.

              This is a topic on which millions of people write.

              I said “Can I have a different topic please?” She said “No”.

              Yes, the young couples at malls, streets do make me notice them. I smile and wish Bless them within myself. I do have set of friends who are happily married to their Love, few eagerly waiting for their love, and few who are working out on the relationship to take it towards marriage. So the ultimate purpose ends up in marriage where both can live happily together forever and be there for each other through thick and thin.

  I am a soul who recently welcomed late 20’s on my last birthday and have limited year left to reach 30.Still Single, The topic love pisses me off these days because I miss being with my man who has still not turned up. The wait seems longer. But true that, no one can escape from bonding of Love. Even the most serious to most crazy character of humans, have to swim through this bonding. Afterall, love is the only source because of which the world exists.

 Now that he is not here yet, (I believe he might have taken a wrong route and is in a wrong direction who needs to get on right direction to reach me or probably is on his way) let me just assume that someday he will be right next to me making my wish come true. Sometimes I just wish if he had crossed my path by now, but then maybe he is late with a reason.

He has taught me to spend days without him around me 24*7.

He has taught to take a stand for myself in whatever I believe without any support.

He has taught me to love life the way it is and to love myself first the way I am.

He has taught to try my hands on everything that I want to try exploring –May it be writing, reading, drawing, travelling etc. etc.

He has taught me to explore the whole world alone being a strong woman.

He has taught me how to deal with wrong people and how to appreciate the right ones.

He has taught me everything a woman can do without a man by her side.

He has made me strong every day.

Today I have learnt to hide my tears and say “I am alright” with a big smile. I have learnt to be thankful for little that I have and to appreciate people in my life. I have learnt to put all broken pieces together and get up again. I have learnt to bring smile on peoples face and be there for them even when they least expect. I have learnt change is obvious. I have learnt emotions can bring you down if you let them to. I have learnt to believe in Destiny and I know that when it’s your time to meet me, nothing in this universe can stop it.

So my Love, wherever you are, I would want to let you know that I am waiting with my arms wide open to welcome you. I know it’s worth the wait but I am scared that this strong woman may also break down someday waiting for you to turn up. Make it faster before I give up my hopes. I can’t wait to hug you and let me in your arms. I want to get cuddled by you until my heart goes calm. I want to blow a kiss on your forehead and brush your hair slowly every morning when I wake up by your side. Single cup of coffee every morning doesn’t make me feel fresh these days. I need you to share a cup of coffee with me. Come soon, so that lets start celebrating Life together. J

Learn LIFE

         Life – The word “Life” itself is a mystery. We all know and have experienced that Life is filled with ups and downs. Life keeps going no matter what! As said always “Live for today to the fullest”. Is that easy?

         After a point of time, when life puts you down over and over again, each time you fall you learn to get up and then the moment you get up you fall all over again?! How awful you would feel? – Living with positive attitude and hopes of better tomorrow gets drained out eventually .Now you just want to give up! Life becomes struggle, almost every day.

                     Since past few months or nearly a year my Life has become constant. Books, papers, watching the world, entertainment nothing actually helps me or feels exciting. Personally and professionally I have seen no good, I kept going ahead hoping for better tomorrow. Everyday there is a ball of emptiness above my head that follows me everywhere. Oh yea, How can I forget what people tell me – “The best comes in the end”, “It’s all about time, Things will surely fall in place” etc etc. After hearing it a million times my answer would be like “Now that’s really not helping me”.

                    The best way to deal with Life at this point would be to connect the dots. (Not being philosophical but this does help me - at least for few minutes). It’s always said “One should forget the past and move on” – True, but it’s not harmful to recollect the past at times and learn about your life. Past would have been painful or probably memorable. Visit and come back J you would feel better or you would now SMILE recollecting it again.

                    I sat in my room next to an open window, gathering thoughts and felt every phase that I have crossed and every path that I have walked so far had a reason. A reason that was unwrapped at a later stage in my Life.

I had to meet few wrong people who were not meant to stay with me forever and then I met right ones later. Here I learned to value them.

I had to choose between let go and hold on. Here I learned to be strong.

I had to meet a person to direct him to the right path. Here I learned to be a guide.

I had to choose among emotions and goal. Here I learned to be practical.

I had to leave behind attachments and move ahead. Here I learned to move on.

         Today wherever I am and whatever I am - I have learned. I would still keep learning. You wish or you don’t but Life will surely teach you the lesson. You have to learn because you have no other choice. You have to cry to learn to SMILE. Though you are fed up, you have to cross the path that is meant for you to pass. So live, love and continue to do what makes you happy. Just don’t stop because you are tired. If not today tomorrow you will know why things were not working out for you when you wanted it to. And that day you would SMILE again and probably be “thankful” too.

I want to get Lost !

I want to get lost  

In an unknown land

With plenty of trees

To feel the fresh breeze

I want to get lost

In a place where I can see the blue sky

With colorful rainbow

To see beautiful clouds

I want to get lost

In a place of mountains

Where I can shout at the top of my voice

To listen to my own echo

I want to get lost

In a place where I see the birds

Which flies high

To hear melodious chirping

I want to get lost

In a place of long route

With sand on the ground

To keep walking miles

I want to get lost

In a place of sunlight

Where I see the sun rays

To shine in the direction of light

I want to get lost

In a place of endless road

Where I have hundred errands

To run as fast as I can

I want to get lost

In a place of happiness

Where I keep smiling

To spread bucket of joy

I want to get lost

In a place of calmness

Where I can listen loud to my inner voice

To follow what my heart says

I want to get lost

In a place with no noise

With no one around

To be with only me

I want to get lost

Completely and totally

For now or may be forever

To an unknown land

Because that someday when I get lost

May be I will be myself again!

"Small Incident"

          I still remember those childhood days. I was a school going girl.An annual day function happens every year in every school .We students perform many cultural events, entertainment. Also students who have done achievements in that academic year will be awarded too. I was one among many students selected by the school teacher to act in a drama. We students were supposed to give stage performance on a theme as per teacher’s instructions. The drama contained many characters and each role was given to individual students based on their capacity to bring out the best in those characters.

                   The main role was of a Tiger. My Teacher selected me for this role. She said “ Dear,I know you have the potential and you will perfectly fit into this role.This is the main character in whole drama and you would be on maximum focus as you would be performing in all the scenes.” I really don’t know why but I said “No, Please give me a real small role.I don’t want to be on main role.” My Teacher tried to convince me and then finally gave up.She then gave this role to some other student. In return I got a role of a servant where I had to be on stage only for one scene of the drama.Very minimal dialogue.I was very happy.

       That day I came back home and told my mom the story of how I denied to take a major role.I got an unusual reaction from her.Her first question was “Can I know why?” in a very calm tone. I answered “Because I felt I cannot do it.” Then she asked,"How do you know that you wont be able to play that role? Did you give it a try?”. I answered,“No,I just felt”.She blasted me right then.She said “Did you deny that major role and chose to opt for something minimal.Aren’t you ashamed of yourself? Do you even know what does it mean when you decline something best coming your way?” I dint know why this bothered my mom.I was angry on her for scolding me.

       Next day my mom was at my school with me.She spoke to the teacher and I was given the major role back again.This time my teacher dint even ask me if I was OK with the role change.The practise started,continued with endless rehearsals, and finally the day came where we had to perform on stage.Our play was a hit and every character in the play performed the best including me.I was very happy after the play,I could see my mom smiling and clapping her hands.

                  If I look back now on this incident ,I realize she was right.She wanted her daughter to know  that her daughter is capable of it.She pushed me to do that role because she dint want to let her daughter diminish her self confidence on oneself. Now why did I refresh my childhood incident on this page is, since past few years as an IT professional, I have been exploring  new life, new journey. There are times when oppurtunities knock at my door.Many a times I tend to push it away(same like I did during my childhood) because of lack of self –confidence and then I realize I shouldn’t. Back then when I was a kid, I had my mother to take a stand for me when I wasn’t confident on myself.Now I am a grown up individual, my lesson of childhood should be something that I should carry forward,by being confident on  oneself and giving oppurtunities a try before I give up. And recalling this incident always gives me a push.Once you are grown up, you are on your own you see.

      Strange that every step of our parental nurture makes an impact on us to shape us as a wonderful human. Love them and Love yourself because they have shaped you as a beautiful person that you are today.  

Dear Life,

You make me smile

You make me cry

You make me sad

You make me happy

You teach me meaning of emotions

You teach me meaning of feelings

You teach me to hold on

You teach me to let go

You make me see beautiful days

You make me see worst days

You make me feel emptiness

You make me feel myself complete

Sometimes you make me meet the ‘right people’

Sometimes you make me meet the ‘wrong people’

You make few to stay with me forever

You make few to walk away from me forever

Sometimes you pour ‘sorrows’

Sometimes you pour ‘joys’

Sometimes you make me feel ‘weak’

Sometimes you make me feel ‘strong’

When I think everything is right, you slip

When I think everything is over, you go back on track

When I think I win, you show me that I have still a long way to go

When I think I lose, you show me ‘hope’

Dear Life, Whatever you are

I am still in love with you

Because till the journey ends

I will always keep learning!

The other day when it rained!

It is bright sunny day! Unbearable heat, deep summer making us thirsty every now and then. Me and my roommates were walking towards our destination. We had to wait for an auto. After a little while, one of my roommates said – “Hey, Can we please find a place to hide ourselves from sun”. I immediately pointed towards a small shelter on the extreme corner of the road. It was a small sandal repair shop. An old man sat inside that tiny shelter whose job was to repair the shoes. This little shed had a small roof on top that extended a little in the front that could let few more people to stand under the roof shelter.

 My roommate replied – “There, No way! Let’s find a better place”.

 I questioned –“Why, what’s wrong?”

She answered – “Look at that, small shelter, not good enough”

My thoughts reflected back to that day when this small shelter was saver for me!

“ The other day when it rained” – Early morning was just like any other normal day in this city.Alarm rings and there I wake up and get ready and off to office.But the day was not normal in the evening.Unpredictable weather had started the game.It started to rain that evening.It was raining cats and dogs and whole city was in a mess,people not ready to welcome rains and were without umbrella.There I was in the bus.I had no clue if this rain would stop before I reach my place. I was just hoping it will. It dint.I arrived my stop and it was time to get down from the bus, the moment I got down, rain was so heavy that it dint allow me to walk even two steps. I saw my left and then right , all I could see that moment was this small shelter , yea! The same sandal repair shop.I went to this shop and I stood there right under this small roof.This small shelter protected me from getting drenched.Now within two seconds I see a young guy running towards me and occupying the same shelter.He couldn’t go ahead in his bike and had to stop.After a while another gal joins in,She makes a call to her mom and expects her mother  reach this shop with an umbrella to pick her up! Then comes a small girl half already drenched, We all three try to move a little closer to give this little girl some place to fit in under this shelter. Now that was the maximum limit this shelter could hold.Old man who is the owner of the shop said – “Feel good,sorry I don’t have more place to make u all comfortable” . Few among us said –“That’s ok” . I said “This is the best place,Thanks”. The guy next to me smiled!

                Heavy rain continued,wind was blowing so hard like it was angry,rain drops were pouring continuously like it would never stop again.Gals mother had come with an umbrella to pick her daughter.Mother scolds her daughter for not carrying an umbrella and simultenously  continues to wipe her daughters wet head.I watch and remember my mom.There was a smile on my face at that moment.They walk away. After a while a car stops infront of us and picks the small gal.I stand and continue to see the water splashes,traffic jam,shaking trees etc.

                After  waiting for 45 minutes straight I make a choice to wrap my head with dupatta and make a move.Rain had reduced slightly showing a little mercy on me. I started to run and reached my destination.Walk distance was just 10 mins to my place from this stop but rain was at its peak not allowing me even to take a small step. Ah ! If this small shelter was not on my head may be I had no clue where to go the other day ! I was thankful to that small roof on my head the other day!

                Here today I looked at my roommate and answered – “Sometimes small shelter makes huge difference.I would stand right under it,Follow me if you want to” and there I stood ,so did they!

Relating this to Life – Sometimes we meet people who would support us or give us just a minute of happiness .That minute of happiness would have mattered to us a lot.That minute of happiness would be the only reason why we were happy the whole day! We miss to notice them and we forget to thank them or may be sometimes we forget the person itself who had once made us feel good and happy. Notice them and now may be it’s your turn to make them feel good J

Ask yourself - Is this 'ME'?

This blog is a little about my life, where I would crib about the way things were going around with me for couple of months. I was with a comfortable, fun loving team around me at office. They kept me lively and happy everyday! I don’t mean they dedicated their time taking good care of me but the team itself was so freaking good that anybody in the team enters the office and goes for a cup of coffee at the beginning of the day together with the whole group, one would definitely forget what was he or she worrying about. All individuals were uniquely crazy and every individual put together rocked, winning hearts of millions. Touch wood!

  It’s always said Life is a journey and millions of people just pass by you in this journey. Some people make the journey wonderful. These set of people are those who made my journey wonderful and kept building up my hopes, confidence every now and then. Probably they are the only reason that I am smiling today! But days pass by and change is mandatory. I cannot expect to work with the same set of people anywhere I go, nor can they (especially in IT industry).It was time for a change for everybody. People got fit into different organizations starting at the beginning of last year. Every month of last year kept me involved in organizing back to back farewells! We are all still connected even today but departed due to different organizations plus locations and can’t hang out on a daily basis 24*7 with each other.

I fell into a new role with a new team. It’s always hopeless to move out of your comfort zone and the same happened to me.I found it a little hard initially to cope up with new role and team. I kept missing my old team very often. The new team had lot of negative vibes pushing my way. I was losing my confidence and also it was bringing down my hopes. I pushed myself very hard to get on track, but felt helpless. Along with this, my personal life was losing track, I had some people whom I was with talking about my attitude and having problems with the way I am. Now I found myself as a very disturbed person,living a routine time table life, not doing what I wanted to do but doing what others wanted from me.I dint even remember when was the last time I stepped out to a roadside tea stall,when was the last time I had been for a long walk in the cold breeze,when was the last time I ran around my work place with crazy talks etc. I questioned myself  “Is this  ‘ME’ ?” The answer was a obvious “NO”. When all things shoot at you at one single shot, you feel down especially when you are not a kind of person who would expect a shoulder to rest on incase of problems. You deal with your problems all alone and that needs a lot of self push. It makes you stronger and each learning will teach a lesson. At the same time, I had my dearest ones who were going through worst phase of their life and expected me to be their strength. Now may be this was an add on for me to force myself to be more strong and push myself back to normal. To serve them happiness, I had to first find my happiness back! Else there was no point in me being their strength!

I had to first build up my confidence and bring up my hopes. That started by finding positive energy in my new team. I recognized the set of people in my new team where I found positiveness and avoided the negative side. This was my first step. Second was I started dealing with myself more than dealing with the ones who had problem with me for the way I am. Their presence dint matter to me anymore. My emotions towards them was made to “null” which means that there is no chance of hurting myself anymore in future with these people. I fell and picked something up! First time when I fell I had picked up “Writing” and this time it is “Drawing”. Third step was I stayed away from networking, like the most famous whats app, fb etc and i found all time in the world for me and only myself. I started knowing more about myself, also learning more about myself. I found the real happiness starting from buying chocolates for little kids, giving more time to parents on call(since they stay far away),helping the ones who expect, sometimes even being a silent support with million empty words!  A little struggle and there I found myself back again – Now did I forget to mention that writing this blog has actually made my heart lighter ;-) Feels awesome! –

 Happiness is all around, sometimes you just tend to lose yourself in this fast phase of life. It’s you who have to notice it, Talk to yourself and start finding your happiness in every tiny little thing that you do. I am sure you will thank yourself for being you! – So deep within ask yourself a question “is this ‘ME’?”

From a Believer to an Atheist and back again ;)

                                              Some of us are bought up in an environment where we are made to believe more in some supreme power than ourselves. Many a times we are bogged down with responsibilities, duties since a very young age. Our day begins with prayers and ends with prayers. I have met many such people around me and I have been meeting them more often- I feel surprised and shocked! They are so damn believers of God that they are scared to move a step ahead in anything they do – I like to study them, record their actions and analyse them.

                                          No offense meant on believers and atheists. But yes sometimes I still keep wondering about the existence of “God” even today. To be frank, I was born and bought up in a family where I was taught prayers,few traditions, customs along with stories that said God exists and how he offers help in terms of needs etc. I grew up as a believer , I prayed when I was in difficulty, I said thanks to him each time I felt things are better because I thought he made it right. ! I don’t know if he really did ;).I am a Hindu who studied in a Christian school, I found joy in Christian prayers , Even today I do visit church sometimes and light a candle(With no demands or prayers) and feel good.Basically I was not restricted to pray only as a Hindu.

                                          There is a time where every youngster stands independent with a job at a new place in between new crowd. I am a grown up now and matured enough to see things the way it is in reality and not the way I was taught about it! I have different set of people working around me, few who believe in God at every step and few who don’t trust his existence at all.Two different extremes! With few circumstances going wrong continuously, people tend to loose faith and hopes – I was one among many who asked –“If God does exist why he isn't fair enough to everyone”.  We do have temples,churches and mosques built at every street in our country. I really don’t know whether to call it fortunate or unfortunate that I see these pilgrim places will always be crowded. I wonder “ Are there so many people with troubles that they visit God asking for help” OR “Are there so many happy people who come to thank God for everything”. However I still dint find an answer.

                                          My days had passed normally when I had once stopped praying to God.Back then,as an atheist my life was the same normal life. I have also seen places where your prayers are offered to god only after you pay the priest with money. There were some places where I was reminded – “Madam – You need to pay”. They know people will do anything for God ;) One small incident at my office – I had broken my sandals , since I couldn't walk with broken sandals, I had kept it aside and was roaming without sandals inside my office. Few people asked me –“What happened?”. I answered –“Its Thursday today and I don’t wear sandals on every Thursday as I offer my special prayers to God, asking him to fulfill one of my wish”. To my surprise maximum number of people blindly believed this and said – “Your wish will be fulfilled”. I was taken aback.People will take anything and everything in the name of God. What can you name them as ?

                                  After all 20 plus years of belief  that God exists has been constantly put into my head – Hard to wash it away at once! Recently I visited a temple.I had been to this temple after four long years – As soon as I saw the idol,tears rolled down my eyes.Even today when I think about it I wonder “why?".May be I felt a ray of hope OR May be I felt there is someone listening to me, OR may be I felt I will fight and win my battle.

                                  Its good to believe in some Power which inspires you with faith and builds up hopes to move ahead in life. Let that power be named as “God” ! Why not ?! Go to him when you want to gain confidence.Go to him when you want to feel better, Go to him when you want to believe that things will be good soon, but meanwhile do believe in yourself first, Put your effort  in everything you want, if you fail analyse why and attempt again rather than blaming God. Don't wait for God to make a way for you.If you do so,you are a fool.You choose your way and let him be your support. Remember you should be your own guide and he will only be your support when you are down. If you are a believer don’t expect him to wear your shoes and run the race for you, he will only keep the ground clean for you to run your race. 

                                             

The game of “Let go” and “Hold on”

             I believe most of you would have crossed this phase in their life at times- To hold on and to let go.

Few years back - It was a tough time for me holding on to each other in a group of people(just because we wanted to stay together),then later holding on seemed so difficult that all of us had to let go one another to keep ourselves happy. Days passed by wondering “Where we went wrong” and trying to set things right but the holding on torture was too much that none of us were able to be normal again. Today we are connected individually but still apart as a complete group. Each one of us has moved on with a new beginning. Definitely it took me hell a lot of time to be back to normal again.

              Many a times,this lesson of “Let go” and “Holding on” are self learnt due to one’s own experience or may be these lessons are taught since childhood in small steps.For Example: when you were a kid, u must have played with your friends, cousins, neighbours who came to your house for a visit –you enjoy playing with them so much that you don’t want them to leave you and go , you ask them to stay at your home forever.But your parents say “Let them go, They have important work ,They will finish the work and will be back to play with you in the evening”. So here your parents lie to you to keep you happy and ask you to let them go with hopes that they will soon be back. Since you are a small Kid you tend to forget things very soon and get diverted that you hardly remember in the evening about the promise made before they left.

But as you grow up things change,The definition of “Let go” is now at a bigger level. Moving away from someone’s life for what so ever reasons it may be! Or in another word,finishing your role/part in that someone’s life! You tend to remember and miss the person whom you have “let go”. I wish our memory would still be like a Kid’s memory in such matters. Unfortunately its not! Their every  talks,deeds etc tend to reflect infront of your eye very often.There is nobody to give you promise of coming back and moreover we are matured enough to understand and predict the reality.Its just hopes  that might keep us going ! Hopes shatter many a times whereas few tend to be lucky though.

Holding on is another such game where you don’t want to loose someone/something important that means a lot to you and hence you tend to keep holding on and take everything  that’s coming on your way – Here your patience is at stake.Once your patience is lost holding on becomes too difficult !Yet Again, priority matters, Patience wins priority sometimes !

Sadly, My Life has played this game of "let go" and "hold on" unwillingly often.Each time I think I am good at holding on and letting go,I realize I am just the beginner !!!This is a very dangerous game,which will grind your emotions,feelings,confidence,smile etc at one shot ! - if your life has never given you a chance to play this game you have been blessed !! Be happy to be so ! All I can say is Sometimes you have to keep holding on unwillingly and sometimes you have to let go though you don’t want to -Not because you want it that way, its because you have no other option and its good that way ! Either ways you choose, you are hurt!!

             

Arranged Marriage..is it?

        Recently when I was involved in a conversation with my customer (UK based) he suddenly asked me a question; He asked “Do arranged marriages still happen in India?” I smiled and answered –“Yes”. He was in a shocked state and disappointed too, all he said was “I cannot believe this. How does this happen?”

       I guess we have many people out there who fit in for an “arranged marriage”! May it be out of choice or may it be on compulsion

        Few reasons as to how do you fit in for an arranged marriage would be - “Dint find my Mr. Perfect so far”, “Dint fall in love with the right person hence can’t take further chances and tolerate any more heart breaks”, “Fell in love with the right person but dint end up being together so that is the end of it”, “Never fell in love” (Though I find this reason insane for normal human being), “Was completely focused on my career growth at my 20’s and plus, and its already too late now to take in chances ,to fall in love”(I think age doesn’t matter to fall in love) or the most famous one would be “I trust my parent’s choice and I want to keep them happy”, Reasons would be never ending!

        Keeping the reasons apart, now that one is here, this is what you would need to go through- A total crappy process yet looks beautiful if everything goes out to be fine. Now that you are IN, here is all that you have to take! “Pain” OR “Gain” you judge it yourself.

What is it?

DEFINITION: Risk taken by an individual to spend entire life with a stranger with hopes of having beautiful life together forever.
 The entire process of getting oneself hooked with someone in an arranged marriage- This is the way it goes (I may not be absolutely correct in mentioning the process as I am not familiar to this and I guess this process also differs with respect to different states and castes.)

PROCESS

A SHEET OF PAPER   – This is a sheet of paper that is designed based on your date and time of birth which holds your complete details (bio-data) and would be passed on to those people with whom you would like to take chance with. This sheet of paper is called horoscope. This sheet would also contain your height, age, work company details etc etc .Similar to your “resume” when one is in search of job. The only difference here is you are in search of a “person” and not job. Based on this sheet of paper, (comparing the horoscope of both guy and gal) one would actually tell you how compatible you are with each other, how well you get along etc. Strange that people trust this sheet more than themselves. Once the person you believe (This person makes money here with this job) tells you that your horoscope is a match, you can go ahead. Then it follows the next step.

SAY CHEESE – Since your horoscope is declared “good to go ahead”, next is the exchange of photograph. Of course one should know how the partner looks before they say a “yes” or a “No”. Trust me now that you are on sale the best you look in the photograph the more you are on demand! May it be photo effects or may it be natural. The photographer would ask you say cheese and click from all angles to make you look your best in the photo. Your photo may be a “pass” to him/her or “fail”. If it’s a pass, then there you go further.

CHECK THEM OUT – Now that there are high chances of you getting hooked up as the photograph is a “pass” you would definitely want to make sure that you are getting into the right family. So you just do a check on family background directly or indirectly with the help of family friends, cousins, neighbors, colleagues (In short trying to collect as much information as possible with all known people, who knows about the person you chose, the family, and the background/past). Lot of miscommunication happens at this phase as people are more interested in other family matters. Now that you give them a chance, why would they ignore it..!
If you are the only daughter or only son - then you are just great, who the hell cares about your negative points, After all you will be the Owner of kingdom after your parents! Also if you are a part of a big family with rich dad and big status you are on high demand.

FACE TO FACE – After all the above steps if you have still retained your interest of sticking onto arranged marriage then here you go for “face-to-face” meet with the person of your choice (sorry! Did I just say your choice?! I meant to say the world’s choice for you). Both families decide to meet up, along with the guy and gal giving them a chance to look at each other and talk to each other.(Early days Location would have been temple, own house with gal in a traditional saree serving tea/coffee but now we have improved to meet at CCD etc and place an order for Coffee) .I don’t know what one would talk to a total stranger (I don’t find topics to talk to a “known” person when I am one on one with them), what details one would share with a stranger.Morever “TRUST” – how? Lucky those years 2010 and plus gives chances of multiple meets before a guy/gal makes their precious decision (Am I supposed to say we have improved :P)

SIGN OFF DEAL -  So the final decision of being REJECTED(for whatsoever reasons it may be-like your height, weight, looks,past,family,character,age,job, Sometimes even for the most silly reasons which is not even your fault) OR decision of being SELECTED is declared to the other family and the date of wedding is fixed. Wait a min! Did I miss to say the Sign-off deal includes the dowry matters as to how much would you pay(may it be in terms of money,gold,estate,car etc.) to get yourself selected.
In short, you are hired! You would have lost your patience during this process and at times you would have also felt that you should NOT have opted for an arranged marriage. Basically you are now here to start a new life filled with responsibilities and risks with an unknown person. [I missed to add the word “happiness” in previous sentence :P ]Hope you have chosen the right person and are being lucky..!

Was just wondering if I could make my customer read this blog ;) –Because all I told him that moment was “Arranged marriages does happen in India and works out many a times” :)

Tender Heart

Is there someone who knocks at your door?

Is there someone who begs you to give a chance to make your life beautiful?

Is there someone who wants to fill your life with colours?

OR

is it the other way round-

Is there someone who wants to see light in his/her dark life and likes you to be the bright light that could shine in his/her life forever?

Is there someone whose life is an open book filled with blank pages and likes you to be the one to fill colours to the pages of his/her book forever?

What would you do?

When your mistakes, reflects in front of you, you regret and then you stop.

You don’t go ahead as you might fall.

You don’t trust as you might breakdown.

You don’t splash colours because the only colours you have is black and white.

You don’t want to be the light since you are lost in darkness.

A new person knocks the door again. You ask your heart-“Shall I open the door or keep it closed?”

You wonder -what about those, who have knocked the door long back and still wait for the door of your heart to open.

Choice would be the only one.

But would you ever make a choice?

If YES, would it be the right choice?

My Tender Heart –“Why don't you speak?”

Thanks,sorry,forgive,forget !

BEFORE: [I thought ] – The world is beautiful because of these words!

“Thanks” - A word that can be used as a way of gesture for a person who  has helped you in any possible way! A word from heart to the person who made you smile and happy!

               But I learnt  and felt the real meaning of Thanks when I had to hear - “Thanks, You made me realize life is painful”

“Sorry” – A word that re-joins the broken bond, this word brings a smile on fuming face.Interms of misunderstandings,this single word unites the loved ones and brings them closer!

                But I learnt and felt the real meaning of Sorry when I had to hear – “Sorry, It’s all over between me and you”

“Forgive” – A word that makes one forget all the grudges, also reduces long gap among people and helps to turn two people from enemies to friends!

                But I learnt  and felt the real meaning of Forgive when I had to hear – “Forgive me because I was once part of your life”

“Forget” - A word  that gives you relief from your past mistakes,vanishes  your  worries, that

can make your regrets and pains to disappear!

                But I learnt  and felt  the real meaning of Forget when I had to hear – “Forget me for once and forever”

AFTER : [Now I think] -The world would have been more beautiful without these words !

For all those who  feel life is beautiful with these words,think twice at every step of your life and act accordingly as its better to make sure that these words never come to you in a hard way !

Did i do a "Mistake" ?

Lost is the “understanding” we shared

Lost is the “attachment” we had

Lost is the “deep bonding” we developed

Lost are the days when I could read your thoughts even before your speech

I spent days and nights together

With a wound of guilt seep in

Never did I let those tears pour from my eyes

Nor did I let my heavy heart speak out those words

I swallowed the pain of guilt

Being myself, being strong

Being away from the world

All alone

I asked same question everyday to myself

“Where did we lose our care for each other?”

I blamed myself every moment

“Did I do a mistake?”

Thousand thoughts running across my head all day

And me Eager to flush out all running thoughts at once

But it was time to choose

Whether  ”to hold on”  or “to let go"

I was searching for answers within me

Never were those questions answered by me

I realised   “sorry” was  too short to say

I realised   “Don’t leave me” was too much to ask for

Lost is the “love” and “care”

Lost is the “me”  in “you”

Lost is the “us” in “we”

“Lost”  forever and ever

I wanna slow down ..!!

Oh Crap!! My days are running like hell.I am hardly realising it either.All that I know is I open my eyes and then I am off to office ,by the time I am back to my room its time to sleep and my eyes are so damn adamant that they never agree to keep itself open after some point.I am totally out of this world..Damn this routine life.

Every morning I wake up saying today I will be “ME” but Nah, I still miss being me!

I have many interests in line one behind the other ..so many things I wanna do,learn and live with,enjoy with  and I feel time is too less,but  for now I wanna write for gods sake,Gimme a pen and a paper…I will Scribble is what I felt when I was busy with my keyboard at office  solving some issues at work.Its been  a total hectic month for me.I know I had to enjoy what I was doing,I had to enjoy my work, I also know I need to concentrate on the work  that I do at office.But since its been days that I dint write anything (Not even my diary)I was totally restless.This happens to me everytime when I miss to write something . A kind of disease I guess…I  really don’t know what can I name this disease.It takes my senses off until I write my heart out .I  feel totally relaxed once I finish any write-up.I feel the joy within.

  

I was trying  to grab every  single minute where I get a chance to write.Since past three weeks it was not happening on a regular basis for some reasons. I used to think daily that I would write something today and would sit awake late night, finish off few lines and then i would find myself lying my head on my book instead of pillow next day morning ! Weekends I had commitments that I couldnot dare to miss.I felt like carrying a pen and my book everywhere I go and start writing though its some function, party, traveling, etc.But yeah I cant do that for obvious reasons.Thought to buy a laptop only for writing purpose too..Atleast it would help me to write when i travel if not other mentioned occasions.But that dint happen either.I was away from reading too due to busy schedule.All I could manage to do was a quick copy paste of random blogs from Channel W in Microsoft word at office and manage to read it by EOD.I could not even comment on those blogs what I read..Such a pathetic state I was in. :( I wanted to slow down the running days of my life.

After a gap of three weeks without writing, today a Friday evening at office I put a complete full stop to all my priority work and before I could go completely insane without writing,I made sure I scribble at least few lines on notepad. And that’s how this blog came up.

Not worth posting but still I did post.

'ME' and 'LIFE'

It is always said “Best lessons of Life are learnt only after experience”.I never agreed to this statement. I always argued saying “Best lessons of life” can be learnt by knowing others experiences, U can always learn from everyone. But I recently found that there is infact lots of differences when u learn from others and when you experience yourself. And trust me this difference is not tiny but very huge.


The kind of feeling I went through for an year almost.I had lost the continuity of life for some reasons.My Life was going on a superfast rollercoaster ride,so many  ups  and downs.There was something lacking in everyting I do.The feel  of lack of happiness and satisfaction every now and then.I would be part of fun with my friends, laugh with them, go to work but could not feel the happiness to the fullest .Nothing seemed right at times ! Everything just too messy around me and when things were going on right track, there it slips again! I wished to press "PAUSE" button of my Life if i had an option.


It was a fight between me and Life. Every second I had to fight back. And c’mon Thanks to this wonderful Society, How lovely it is.The society laughs with u when u r laughing but when u cry,again it laughs at u, some pity on you ,Some see u and make sure they utilize every chance to make fun of u and and some who will catch u half the way and then disappear in between. I hate to say I had to place few people who were in my heart ,away from my heart, they had lost their value n my respect towards them in this phase of my Life. Also few gained my respect and I valued them.Each time I moved forward all these would push me back again ! I was trying to get myself back every now and then.I Never wanted to loose myself.The liveliness, charm and “ME” is what I always wanted to keep alive . The struggle between me and Life was hard to survive !


All this, made me more tough.This is when I came to know what exactly it means  by fighting back.How does it feel when u undergo through all circumstances of life,I understood clearly  what it  is when we say our loved ones  “Everything will be fine” when things are in a bad state.The pain they might be undergoing  is something which we cant  feel  nor  can we imagine in our wildest dreams when we try to convince them to make them feel better..My value,respect,love towards few(including my parents) grew more and more everyday in this phase of  my life.


Trust me !!! Today I never regret the year of ups and downs I went through.I learnt at every single step from everyting and everyone and  now I know Whats my Life.I can give the Definition of my Life in my words with a meaning to every single word.Each word might be painful but I Love every bit of the pain , every tiny pinch of it where I never forgot my smile, I stood for myself .Today whatever I am,my Life is,I live it.


My Life has still continued the roller-coaster ride,So what! Life simply goes on :)

May be "I am lucky"!!

Heart  shattered being desperate for few words
Eyes insearch of those  who had  promised  "I am there for u"
Ears eager to hear  a "hi"
Arms wanting a hug
Heart  heavy in need of that shoulder where head could rest
Pain hidden but still continued the smile

Loneliness was killing around
As Loneliness became too long
Heart slowly fell in love with it and enjoyed it
Loneliness became  the best feeling  ever

Time taught where one stands
Time pointed spoken words that were never followed
Time showed  relationship may not stay forever
Time echoed the past that witnessed present 

It never hurts nor does it regret to see those faces
The same smiling faces that taught the lesson of life
Its happiness for all around that matters
Though heart misses a beat at times

Thats not the end!
As wonderful love was showered
Unspoken words cared
And there were hearts that wanted the pain to disappear
The ones who had never promised.

Now tellme what should be valued more
The unspoken words that cared or the spoken words that failed
Painful yet wonderful lesson of life
Which noticed  those few who held the hand!!
May be  "I am LUCKY";)