From a Believer to an Atheist and back again ;)

                                              Some of us are bought up in an environment where we are made to believe more in some supreme power than ourselves. Many a times we are bogged down with responsibilities, duties since a very young age. Our day begins with prayers and ends with prayers. I have met many such people around me and I have been meeting them more often- I feel surprised and shocked! They are so damn believers of God that they are scared to move a step ahead in anything they do – I like to study them, record their actions and analyse them.

                                          No offense meant on believers and atheists. But yes sometimes I still keep wondering about the existence of “God” even today. To be frank, I was born and bought up in a family where I was taught prayers,few traditions, customs along with stories that said God exists and how he offers help in terms of needs etc. I grew up as a believer , I prayed when I was in difficulty, I said thanks to him each time I felt things are better because I thought he made it right. ! I don’t know if he really did ;).I am a Hindu who studied in a Christian school, I found joy in Christian prayers , Even today I do visit church sometimes and light a candle(With no demands or prayers) and feel good.Basically I was not restricted to pray only as a Hindu.

                                          There is a time where every youngster stands independent with a job at a new place in between new crowd. I am a grown up now and matured enough to see things the way it is in reality and not the way I was taught about it! I have different set of people working around me, few who believe in God at every step and few who don’t trust his existence at all.Two different extremes! With few circumstances going wrong continuously, people tend to loose faith and hopes – I was one among many who asked –“If God does exist why he isn't fair enough to everyone”.  We do have temples,churches and mosques built at every street in our country. I really don’t know whether to call it fortunate or unfortunate that I see these pilgrim places will always be crowded. I wonder “ Are there so many people with troubles that they visit God asking for help” OR “Are there so many happy people who come to thank God for everything”. However I still dint find an answer.

                                          My days had passed normally when I had once stopped praying to God.Back then,as an atheist my life was the same normal life. I have also seen places where your prayers are offered to god only after you pay the priest with money. There were some places where I was reminded – “Madam – You need to pay”. They know people will do anything for God ;) One small incident at my office – I had broken my sandals , since I couldn't walk with broken sandals, I had kept it aside and was roaming without sandals inside my office. Few people asked me –“What happened?”. I answered –“Its Thursday today and I don’t wear sandals on every Thursday as I offer my special prayers to God, asking him to fulfill one of my wish”. To my surprise maximum number of people blindly believed this and said – “Your wish will be fulfilled”. I was taken aback.People will take anything and everything in the name of God. What can you name them as ?

                                  After all 20 plus years of belief  that God exists has been constantly put into my head – Hard to wash it away at once! Recently I visited a temple.I had been to this temple after four long years – As soon as I saw the idol,tears rolled down my eyes.Even today when I think about it I wonder “why?".May be I felt a ray of hope OR May be I felt there is someone listening to me, OR may be I felt I will fight and win my battle.

                                  Its good to believe in some Power which inspires you with faith and builds up hopes to move ahead in life. Let that power be named as “God” ! Why not ?! Go to him when you want to gain confidence.Go to him when you want to feel better, Go to him when you want to believe that things will be good soon, but meanwhile do believe in yourself first, Put your effort  in everything you want, if you fail analyse why and attempt again rather than blaming God. Don't wait for God to make a way for you.If you do so,you are a fool.You choose your way and let him be your support. Remember you should be your own guide and he will only be your support when you are down. If you are a believer don’t expect him to wear your shoes and run the race for you, he will only keep the ground clean for you to run your race.