I am pathetic in decision making.When I am confused I just leave the decision open and avoid thinking about it. Recently it happened that I had to take a decision that would be major in my life. I had to give an answer and my answer would change my life along with other person’s as well. I dint know what my heart wants and what my mind says. OR may be I dint want to listen!!! I have still left the decision open, leaving it on time, being prepared to accept the way it comes to me. Not sure if I will regret later on. Basically when this thought of deciding was running on my mind for days together I was trying to distract myself in all possible ways .As usual the first thing I did was jotting down few words which dint help, then reading novel which dint seem to be interesting anymore, going out for a walk where roads seemed too long, listening to all sorts of music which sounded pathetic and then finally sleeping for hours where my eyes were adamant not to doze off. I gave up and started working for extra hours at office, this one helped slightly though not completely.
During this phase, it so happened that I had to travel to my grandparents place. This is a place where I have spent all my summer holidays, Millions of memories to cherish here. My bro was getting married and hence the entire family had a get together. I had been to this small town after 4 long years! Had never been there once I moved to city called Bangalore. Never realized days were running so fast. Now that I was seeing all my cousins together after long time I realized how things have changed with time. I had now lost count of all my niece and nephews. There were many new additions to my family. The ones with whom I had spent my days playing around -fightingwere responsible people with their own sweet family ;) Few little ones whom I cuddled when they were young had now grown up taller than me and they now shared their girlfriend, boyfriend stories with me! My closest cousins were now husband-wife and few others were mom-dad J - So I took some time to understand my modified large family hierarchy cycle. We had kids of all age in our family at this moment!! And with my confused state of mind I preferred to spend my time with Kids , I enjoyed being with them and they enjoyed being with me !!!!
One little niece sticked on to me continuously since she met me, At first she held my hand then came to me and sat on my lap. We had to travel to another place for wedding ceremony and this little gal sat on my lap from the beginning of journey not willing to join her mother. I grabbed her attention showing her the world outside the window. Kids are always excited. Each thing in the world looked new to them. They have their own logic and imagination and they link it the way they want it. And here we are, youngsters cribbing about all wrong things that happens with us. We fail to notice the beauty of world around us. Its better we learn the childhood lessons all over again from these tiny tots. The journey was long and my niece was now sleepy. She rested her small head on my left arm and dozed off without realizing. Now she was probably in her dream world. Each time the vehicle took a turn or brakes were applied I protected her with my right arm so that she wouldn’t hit her head on the window pane. I was wondering Kids are so innocent that they would ideally love or hate any person at very first go and we grownups add hundreds of if’s and but’s before we actually trust a relation.
I was totally involved with these little ones for four days and I actually forgot what I was worrying about. I cannot describe every kid with whom I spent the four days since it will go long into pages but Trust me, Kids are the best examples to make someone smile, and you get lost in their innocence. Though they don’t know what’s running in your mind, their every action around you takes you to a different world.
