When the Lift door Opened

It was the tallest building of 28 floors.

I had to get down to ground floor.

I got into the lift

I pressed ground floor

The door closed

I was all alone in the lift

The lift stopped at 23^rd floor

She got into the lift

The door closed

There she stood far away

I saw her again today and so did she look into my eyes

Her body had the perfect curves

Her strong aroma spread within the lift

Her fair legs shined with her half skirt

I just wanted that one moment with her

Only once and never again

Suddenly the lift felt a jerk

Lift had stopped, door still closed

We looked at each other again

We dint panic nor scream

The lift light went off

Exactly 10 seconds later, light started dim and dip

This continued and we still were looking at each other

The dim and dip of light continued

The lift felt the jerk second time and this time it was harder

She lost her balance and now was closer to me

She moved away slightly

Her strong aroma was pulling me towards her

I went closer to her

She dint push me away

I held her hand

She dint stop me

I pulled her towards me

She was now in my arms

She was smiling and her eyes closed

I touched her hair slowly and put it behind her ears

Her breath was all I could her

Her lips touching mine

Her eyes looked at me like shining stars when the lights continued dim dip

My hands now touched her hip

Her hands behind my neck

I kissed her neck 

I removed the thread knot of her dress

Now kissed her back

It was the moment

I had lost myself within her

She pulled out my tee shirt

My body on her

Her smooth skin touched my body

Her lips biting my chest

And we continued

Until we were one

On the floor we were lying on each other

Feeling each other’s breath

Closing our eyes

I feel the jerk again for third time

The dim dip light stops and its dark 

Swoosh! Lights on, I panic

The door opens

People behind me push me and move out of lift

Me perplexed and standing still

A guy standing next to me says, “Sir, excuse me,this is ground floor, we all need to get out”.

I see no sign of her

Wait a min,I look at myself

Am I fully dressed up but how

I smile at myself and get out of the lift

I just wanted that one moment with her

That one moment came to life in my thoughts.               

The Veil

Those eyes as beautiful as glittering star.

Those eyes were only what you could see

The veil hid everything else

The hair, the ears, nose, lips.

There hid something else behind the veil

I dumped all my feelings and emotions behind the veil

There was a secret that wasn’t supposed to be revealed

To this dark world

Each time I passed by you, my eyes did the talks.

Those eyes as dark as a sky with no moon light

Those eyes as sharp as bright sun

Those eyes which had no tears left

My eyes said to you, “I don’t belong to the world of love”

You continued to follow me with smile

I never removed the veil

I never let you see the real me

My thoughts were bombarding to seek revenge

Revenge of letting me alone in this world

I wanted the blood to flow again

This time it was blood of anger

Years ago,

My curly hair would always be open letting the breeze blow it

My lips would never miss to expand with smile

My ears would have the prettiest earrings which every girl would envy

But one day when I returned home

It was floor of blood

Blood of all my loved ones

No one alive, for no mistake they did

I was all alone with no one in this world

That day, I covered my face with the veil

And started running, I never looked back

I never looked at the world again without this veil.

This day, this moment the floor is filled with blood again

You are on the floor crying hard exactly like how I did years ago

Blood of your loved ones are flowing covering the whole floor

Your hands are shivering, so did mine years ago

But your family showed no mercy to me years ago.

Now that my heart is content with revenge,

And I am lying down on the floor with my flowing blood.

Your eyes meets my eyes again and this time there is no smile on your face

You look at my eyes surprised

I remove my veil and you see my face

I look at you and smile

And that is my last breath!

LOVE

  It’s been quite a long time since I have written something on my blog page. They say there is a phase in everyone’s life where one gets lost in chaos. Probably I was going through the same for past few months. It took me months to find myself back again. After lots of travel and work, I finally took a long vacation just to be at home and do nothing.

              Now that I wanted to start the “writing” again, I asked my friend who is a writer to give me a topic on which I can start writing.

              She immediately said “Love”.

              This is a topic on which millions of people write.

              I said “Can I have a different topic please?” She said “No”.

              Yes, the young couples at malls, streets do make me notice them. I smile and wish Bless them within myself. I do have set of friends who are happily married to their Love, few eagerly waiting for their love, and few who are working out on the relationship to take it towards marriage. So the ultimate purpose ends up in marriage where both can live happily together forever and be there for each other through thick and thin.

  I am a soul who recently welcomed late 20’s on my last birthday and have limited year left to reach 30.Still Single, The topic love pisses me off these days because I miss being with my man who has still not turned up. The wait seems longer. But true that, no one can escape from bonding of Love. Even the most serious to most crazy character of humans, have to swim through this bonding. Afterall, love is the only source because of which the world exists.

 Now that he is not here yet, (I believe he might have taken a wrong route and is in a wrong direction who needs to get on right direction to reach me or probably is on his way) let me just assume that someday he will be right next to me making my wish come true. Sometimes I just wish if he had crossed my path by now, but then maybe he is late with a reason.

He has taught me to spend days without him around me 24*7.

He has taught to take a stand for myself in whatever I believe without any support.

He has taught me to love life the way it is and to love myself first the way I am.

He has taught to try my hands on everything that I want to try exploring –May it be writing, reading, drawing, travelling etc. etc.

He has taught me to explore the whole world alone being a strong woman.

He has taught me how to deal with wrong people and how to appreciate the right ones.

He has taught me everything a woman can do without a man by her side.

He has made me strong every day.

Today I have learnt to hide my tears and say “I am alright” with a big smile. I have learnt to be thankful for little that I have and to appreciate people in my life. I have learnt to put all broken pieces together and get up again. I have learnt to bring smile on peoples face and be there for them even when they least expect. I have learnt change is obvious. I have learnt emotions can bring you down if you let them to. I have learnt to believe in Destiny and I know that when it’s your time to meet me, nothing in this universe can stop it.

So my Love, wherever you are, I would want to let you know that I am waiting with my arms wide open to welcome you. I know it’s worth the wait but I am scared that this strong woman may also break down someday waiting for you to turn up. Make it faster before I give up my hopes. I can’t wait to hug you and let me in your arms. I want to get cuddled by you until my heart goes calm. I want to blow a kiss on your forehead and brush your hair slowly every morning when I wake up by your side. Single cup of coffee every morning doesn’t make me feel fresh these days. I need you to share a cup of coffee with me. Come soon, so that lets start celebrating Life together. J

"HE" is my "HERO"

                     

                               I have to write today! I have to write today because I am away from home and I miss being with the best person. A person who taught me what is Life, what is the world and showed me way towards light. I miss him often. I miss him more every day. All I get to do now is to visit him taking few days off OR multiple phone calls every day despite my busy schedules.

                                When I was five years old and had joined the school. He peddled cycle every day morning and afternoon for kilometers together just to drop and pick me up from school. I still remember the tiny green seat in front that was fixed only for me.It wasn’t an easy task, He felt tired and did stop at times at the side of road and then continued to peddle again. There wasn’t a single day when he complained about it. In fact he smiled each time he saw my face. He worked hard at office to give me the best of education and best of everything in Life.

                                “You are my world”- He always said and still continues to say even today! His job posted him to a different location. I was studying in primary school when he chose to move to different location all alone. Of course not by choice but because his job forced him too. Inspite of his health issues where he actually wanted mom to be around to help him, he dint take anyone of us with him. The only reason was he was posted to a location of tiny village where there was no education system available in those days. He dint want me to lose two years of my school education.

                                  I made him proud with my mark sheet each time he visited home. I was the school topper everytime.I would wait for the day he would come. I would keep all my prizes and certificates that I had won on the table. He would pat on my back and praise my hard work. He would also get me some gift each time he travelled home. 

                                  I remember that day when I had asked him for a teddy. I had seen few of my friends owning big teddies and out of nowhere I too wanted to own one. Honestly, I don’t know why I wanted a teddy because I was never fond of it anytime. May be I just wanted to have one like everyone else. I thought my dad would immediately buy me one but he dint. He said “Teddy haan? The doll that is made up of clothes and cotton. What will my daughter do with it? It cannot talk and walk. You can simply carry it. What do you get from owning a teddy?”  I kept quiet. He continued “I would want my daughter to ask me some useful gifts. Like you ask me books that you want to read and get knowledge from. Any book of your choice. I will buy millions of it for you.”  I looked at him with disappointed face. He later said “Ok, looks like you really want a teddy but you will get a small teddy first, after few months if you still wish to own a big teddy then let me know”. He further continued “And to get the small teddy you need to work hard and score a rank this final exam”. That was an easy task for me then. I worked hard and stood first in my class. My dad kept his promise with small teddy as my gift. Within few weeks I had lost all the interest in that boring teddy and dint want a big teddy anymore. Infact I just kept the small teddy only for the reason that it was a gift from my dad. This continued in every phase of my life. I would be made aware of what is worth owning and then gifted with what I want at the right time. This taught me value of everything I own in life and also taught me to get things by working hard. The joy that you feel is immense. I was gifted with cycle and scooty when it was necessary at right time. Never got it immediately when I asked for it the first time.

                                  I grew up. Young hot blood was flowing in my body .Things had gradually changed. I wasn’t the same rank holder student anymore in my studies. There were times I let him down. There were times I made him feel low. There were times I made him angry. There were times I felt helpless .There were times I was ashamed of myself but he still stood beside me proudly. There was a time I broke into bits and pieces. He used all his strength, gathered those broken pieces together and made it one again. My respect towards him increased and love towards him doubled.

                                  Today I am in a state where I need to make time to make a phone call just to talk to him. I cannot talk to him for hours together sitting next to him as I stay away from home while he is always next to me whenever I need him. He is still working on giving me best in my life and I am not able to be his strength. He is always there when I want him but I am never available. Yea, I am definitely working on being there for him.

                                  His patience, his courage, his determination and will power is what I always wish to develop in me. He is my strength from the day I was born and even today and for future. Yes! He is my first HERO, my DAD! – Today whenever he sees me, he still gives me hopes on how to deal with Life, to stay determined, to be positive and that keeps me pushing ahead. I LOVE YOU MORE DAD!                                 

Parallel Universe

A different world, a different universe. It’s a land of colors.I sat in a white cloud high up in the light blue sky. I was sitting on a cloud. The cloud was moving slowly and I was immersed in admiring the color of sky. The cloud stopped in front of a white dome shaped castle and I got down. I looked around. Tiny little blue birds, size of my thumb were flying around with a sweet humming sound. Bright little glittery balls were bouncing up and down all over. I smiled and walked ahead.

 After walking many steps I stood in front of a big door. The door had its own magnificent design. I went close and was immersed in observing the artistic design. I saw “HAPPINESS” was only word written on a big door. The door was completely white similar to the color of milk. I stood infront of the door with my mouth wide open. The door opened automatically. I saw left and right. I could see no one. I just ran inside very quickly. To my surprise there was no one inside. It was a total calm place with literally nothing. I ran back to the door again but it was closed. I tried hard to open the door but it went in vain. I sat down disappointed. After few minutes I got up and tried opening the door again but it dint help. I then turned back started walking ahead. The place was very silent and calm. If a needle was dropped down I bet I could have heard the sound.

             After walking for more than half an hour I saw another big door. This time the door was already open. The door was highly classic design and was brown in color, I went in. On both the sides stood line of strange people. They were dressed up like they were from an ancient ancestor’s age. A small crown on each person’s head, a heavy metal covered their body and everyone had a round shaped antique piece held in their hand. As I entered, these people on both ends bowed down their head at once. I was surprised and continued walking.

              I reached the third door. I have never seen a door as beautiful as this in my life. It had all the colors I had seen so far in my life. It was just amazing. It had no design but only colors. I tried opening the door but it dint work. I pushed it hard, the door dint open. I put all my strength and pushed the door with great and full force this time and the door opened at once. I went inside. I could hear light music, see beautiful butterflies, bright shining stars falling down all over and melting on the ground. I saw the balloons of heart shape in Red color around me in the air. I was happy and I felt good. I caught the shining stars in my hand and it melted in my hand. My hands felt the cold tickling feeling.

               Suddenly I heard a voice, a voice that was powerful and commanding. A voice that was firm and a voice that one wanted to listen over and over again. The voice whispered “You have crossed three doors of Life that everyone always wants. First door which was complete white and the place where you saw nothing was place of PEACE. The second door where people bent down when you entered was place of RESPECT. And the final door where you felt very happy and extremely good was place of LOVE. The ultimate powerful emotion in every human’s life and the emotion from which no human can escape from. Your LIFE is now complete! “The voice stopped and I stood there blank.

               Immediately a strong breeze passed by and I couldn’t stand in the same place.I was blown away with the wind. “Thud” I fell down. I opened my eyes and I was in the same crazy daily world, I had fallen down on the ground from my bed. I searched for my phone and saw the time. I was late to my office. I smiled at the thought that i named as "Parallel Universe" and there I went ahead for my usual routine.

               

Flaws to Perfection

She was funny, naughty and crazy.

She made millions of people smile in her journey every day.

There were her set of bad days too where she lost her own smile and she was blamed.

She owned a heart filled up with unconditional love and care.

She hugged people when they felt lonely and held the hands when they needed support.

There were days when she had lost all her strength to help and she was blamed.

She respected feelings and valued relationships.

She compromised to keep them happy and to live more moments with them.

There were days where she lost herself completely and she was blamed

She worked hard to give her best to people around

She spent tiring days and sleepless nights

There were days where she was restless and she was blamed

She loved truly and deeply

She bonded and connected from heart

There were days when she had to let go with deep pain within and she was blamed

She wiped their tears of sorrows

She gave her shoulder to rest

There were days when she had to wipe her own tears and she was blamed

She was known for her soft speech

She made wonders with words

There were days when she was left with no words and she was blamed

            She sees the change

            She see the different her

            She sees that the more people she loses, the more she finds herself

I want to get Lost !

I want to get lost  

In an unknown land

With plenty of trees

To feel the fresh breeze

I want to get lost

In a place where I can see the blue sky

With colorful rainbow

To see beautiful clouds

I want to get lost

In a place of mountains

Where I can shout at the top of my voice

To listen to my own echo

I want to get lost

In a place where I see the birds

Which flies high

To hear melodious chirping

I want to get lost

In a place of long route

With sand on the ground

To keep walking miles

I want to get lost

In a place of sunlight

Where I see the sun rays

To shine in the direction of light

I want to get lost

In a place of endless road

Where I have hundred errands

To run as fast as I can

I want to get lost

In a place of happiness

Where I keep smiling

To spread bucket of joy

I want to get lost

In a place of calmness

Where I can listen loud to my inner voice

To follow what my heart says

I want to get lost

In a place with no noise

With no one around

To be with only me

I want to get lost

Completely and totally

For now or may be forever

To an unknown land

Because that someday when I get lost

May be I will be myself again!

From a Believer to an Atheist and back again ;)

                                              Some of us are bought up in an environment where we are made to believe more in some supreme power than ourselves. Many a times we are bogged down with responsibilities, duties since a very young age. Our day begins with prayers and ends with prayers. I have met many such people around me and I have been meeting them more often- I feel surprised and shocked! They are so damn believers of God that they are scared to move a step ahead in anything they do – I like to study them, record their actions and analyse them.

                                          No offense meant on believers and atheists. But yes sometimes I still keep wondering about the existence of “God” even today. To be frank, I was born and bought up in a family where I was taught prayers,few traditions, customs along with stories that said God exists and how he offers help in terms of needs etc. I grew up as a believer , I prayed when I was in difficulty, I said thanks to him each time I felt things are better because I thought he made it right. ! I don’t know if he really did ;).I am a Hindu who studied in a Christian school, I found joy in Christian prayers , Even today I do visit church sometimes and light a candle(With no demands or prayers) and feel good.Basically I was not restricted to pray only as a Hindu.

                                          There is a time where every youngster stands independent with a job at a new place in between new crowd. I am a grown up now and matured enough to see things the way it is in reality and not the way I was taught about it! I have different set of people working around me, few who believe in God at every step and few who don’t trust his existence at all.Two different extremes! With few circumstances going wrong continuously, people tend to loose faith and hopes – I was one among many who asked –“If God does exist why he isn't fair enough to everyone”.  We do have temples,churches and mosques built at every street in our country. I really don’t know whether to call it fortunate or unfortunate that I see these pilgrim places will always be crowded. I wonder “ Are there so many people with troubles that they visit God asking for help” OR “Are there so many happy people who come to thank God for everything”. However I still dint find an answer.

                                          My days had passed normally when I had once stopped praying to God.Back then,as an atheist my life was the same normal life. I have also seen places where your prayers are offered to god only after you pay the priest with money. There were some places where I was reminded – “Madam – You need to pay”. They know people will do anything for God ;) One small incident at my office – I had broken my sandals , since I couldn't walk with broken sandals, I had kept it aside and was roaming without sandals inside my office. Few people asked me –“What happened?”. I answered –“Its Thursday today and I don’t wear sandals on every Thursday as I offer my special prayers to God, asking him to fulfill one of my wish”. To my surprise maximum number of people blindly believed this and said – “Your wish will be fulfilled”. I was taken aback.People will take anything and everything in the name of God. What can you name them as ?

                                  After all 20 plus years of belief  that God exists has been constantly put into my head – Hard to wash it away at once! Recently I visited a temple.I had been to this temple after four long years – As soon as I saw the idol,tears rolled down my eyes.Even today when I think about it I wonder “why?".May be I felt a ray of hope OR May be I felt there is someone listening to me, OR may be I felt I will fight and win my battle.

                                  Its good to believe in some Power which inspires you with faith and builds up hopes to move ahead in life. Let that power be named as “God” ! Why not ?! Go to him when you want to gain confidence.Go to him when you want to feel better, Go to him when you want to believe that things will be good soon, but meanwhile do believe in yourself first, Put your effort  in everything you want, if you fail analyse why and attempt again rather than blaming God. Don't wait for God to make a way for you.If you do so,you are a fool.You choose your way and let him be your support. Remember you should be your own guide and he will only be your support when you are down. If you are a believer don’t expect him to wear your shoes and run the race for you, he will only keep the ground clean for you to run your race. 

                                             

The game of “Let go” and “Hold on”

             I believe most of you would have crossed this phase in their life at times- To hold on and to let go.

Few years back - It was a tough time for me holding on to each other in a group of people(just because we wanted to stay together),then later holding on seemed so difficult that all of us had to let go one another to keep ourselves happy. Days passed by wondering “Where we went wrong” and trying to set things right but the holding on torture was too much that none of us were able to be normal again. Today we are connected individually but still apart as a complete group. Each one of us has moved on with a new beginning. Definitely it took me hell a lot of time to be back to normal again.

              Many a times,this lesson of “Let go” and “Holding on” are self learnt due to one’s own experience or may be these lessons are taught since childhood in small steps.For Example: when you were a kid, u must have played with your friends, cousins, neighbours who came to your house for a visit –you enjoy playing with them so much that you don’t want them to leave you and go , you ask them to stay at your home forever.But your parents say “Let them go, They have important work ,They will finish the work and will be back to play with you in the evening”. So here your parents lie to you to keep you happy and ask you to let them go with hopes that they will soon be back. Since you are a small Kid you tend to forget things very soon and get diverted that you hardly remember in the evening about the promise made before they left.

But as you grow up things change,The definition of “Let go” is now at a bigger level. Moving away from someone’s life for what so ever reasons it may be! Or in another word,finishing your role/part in that someone’s life! You tend to remember and miss the person whom you have “let go”. I wish our memory would still be like a Kid’s memory in such matters. Unfortunately its not! Their every  talks,deeds etc tend to reflect infront of your eye very often.There is nobody to give you promise of coming back and moreover we are matured enough to understand and predict the reality.Its just hopes  that might keep us going ! Hopes shatter many a times whereas few tend to be lucky though.

Holding on is another such game where you don’t want to loose someone/something important that means a lot to you and hence you tend to keep holding on and take everything  that’s coming on your way – Here your patience is at stake.Once your patience is lost holding on becomes too difficult !Yet Again, priority matters, Patience wins priority sometimes !

Sadly, My Life has played this game of "let go" and "hold on" unwillingly often.Each time I think I am good at holding on and letting go,I realize I am just the beginner !!!This is a very dangerous game,which will grind your emotions,feelings,confidence,smile etc at one shot ! - if your life has never given you a chance to play this game you have been blessed !! Be happy to be so ! All I can say is Sometimes you have to keep holding on unwillingly and sometimes you have to let go though you don’t want to -Not because you want it that way, its because you have no other option and its good that way ! Either ways you choose, you are hurt!!

             

Innocence –who can be the best on it except kids ?

                 I am pathetic in decision making.When I am confused I just leave the decision open and avoid thinking about it. Recently it happened that I had to take a decision that would be major in my life. I had to give an answer and my answer would change my life along with other person’s as well. I dint know what my heart wants and what my mind says. OR may be I dint want to listen!!! I have still left the decision open, leaving it on time, being prepared to accept the way it comes to me. Not sure if I will regret later on. Basically when this thought of deciding was running on my mind for days together I was trying to distract myself in all possible ways .As usual the first thing I did was jotting down few words which dint help, then reading novel which dint seem to be interesting anymore, going out for a walk where roads seemed too long, listening to all sorts of music which sounded pathetic and then finally sleeping for hours where my eyes were adamant not to doze off. I gave up and started working for extra hours at office, this one helped slightly though not completely.

              During this phase, it so happened that I had to travel to my grandparents place. This is a place where I have spent all my summer holidays, Millions of memories to cherish here. My bro was getting married and hence the entire family had a get together. I had been to this small town after 4 long years! Had never been there once I moved to city called Bangalore. Never realized days were running so fast. Now that I was seeing all my cousins together after long time I realized how things have changed with time. I had now lost count of all my niece and nephews. There were many new additions to my family. The ones with whom I had spent my days playing around -fightingwere responsible people with their own sweet family ;) Few little ones whom I cuddled when they were young had now grown up taller than me and they now shared their girlfriend, boyfriend stories with me! My closest cousins were now husband-wife and few others were mom-dad J - So I took some time to understand my modified large family hierarchy cycle. We had kids of all age in our family at this moment!!  And  with my confused state of mind I preferred to spend my time with Kids , I enjoyed being with them and they enjoyed being with me !!!!

                One little niece sticked on to me continuously since she met me, At first she held my hand then came to me and sat on my lap. We had to travel to another place for wedding ceremony and this little gal sat on my lap from the beginning of journey not willing to join her mother. I grabbed her attention showing her the world outside the window. Kids are always excited. Each thing in the world looked new to them. They have their own logic and imagination and they link it the way they want it. And here we are, youngsters cribbing about all wrong things that happens with us. We fail to notice the beauty of world around us. Its better we learn the childhood lessons all over again from these tiny tots. The journey was long and my niece was now sleepy. She rested her small head on my left arm and dozed off without realizing. Now she was probably in her dream world. Each time the vehicle took a turn or brakes were applied I protected her with my right arm so that she wouldn’t hit her head on the window pane. I was wondering Kids are so innocent that they would ideally love or hate any person at very first go and we grownups add hundreds of if’s and but’s before we actually trust a relation.

                 Now coming on to the hyper-active kids of today, I have one of my most fav nephew, 4 years old. I love him for all his mischief. His parents are invited regularly to school by Teacher to complain on him. 

He wants me around when he would want me to open the refrigerator door for him and to hold him in my arms to reach the refrigerator top to flick chocolates since he is too little to reach it.Couple of things in the house are missing since this guy has the habit of throwing things out of window. When this guy is angry he simply walks out of the gate saying he will never come back. Little does he know how to go further on the same road ;) – Basically the innocence of being straight in what he wants is shown up. Hardly these kids know the meaning of anger, sorry, revenge!

              
    I was totally involved with these little ones for four days and I actually forgot what I was worrying about. I cannot describe every kid with whom I spent the four days since it will go long into pages but Trust me, Kids are the best examples to make someone smile, and you get lost in their innocence. Though they don’t know what’s running in your mind, their every action around you takes you to a different world.
 

Tough Day !

You are the person who first held me in your hands
You are the person who first smiled at me with a tear of joy
You are the person who wiped my first tears
You are the person who held me tight in your arms

You are the person who made me smile
You are the person who taught me to talk
You are the person who showed the world to me
You are the person who blessed me everyday

You are the person who gave me support for my very first tiny step
You are the person who held my hand each time I was about to fall
You are the person who taught me what is right and wrong
You are the person responsible for a proud person that I am today

You made me strong when I was weak
You cheered me up when I was low
You made me win when I thought I had lost
You made me happy when I was sad

Though time has made us apart
By huge distance we now depart
I can never meet you again
I can never see you again

As you have have reached too far away
To a place where I cannot find a way
Yet I always stay connected to you in my own way
You are always loved dear mom!

Confused Mind....!!

Please Note :  This was written long back, just found it in my old book when i flipped through the pages.

I simply don’t know what I feel for you.

But I know you are special to me.

I want you to be with me

I want to spend time with you

I want to talk to you

I want to laugh with you

You said you too wish the same

Then why did you let go

I dint say – “move on”

Nor did I say – “Wait for me”

Deep down my heart I wished  

You would take a turn to look back at me.

I know my silence said it all

I may not have agreed to give you happiness

Doesn’t mean I wished to give you sorrows

I still respect and value you the same

And you will remain special to me ever.

I know you need time

You cannot be the same friend to me again

Dont hate me

Because I am not that BAD at all.

Get to know someone Random !

She was away from the entire world for a long time, She enjoyed being alone, She was once famous for being talkative and notorious and now famous for her silence. She had learnt smile can never hurt others whereas words do,So the only answer she gave to everyone now for all their questions was a Smile.Indeed a sweet smile!!She dint like to socialize anymore. She loved loneliness, pen, paper and books  more than people!she pushed herself away  from all people may it be good or bad. Thus she was for almost year and a half!

One fine day she receives an email, Content included – “I would be visiting your place, wanna meet?”The moment she saw the e-mail there was no second thought and she immediately sent a reply – She typed “Sure, We can catch up”. This was basically because the sender was the person whose work she had always admired and have always wanted  to meet. That night they exchanged few messages about the meet.

Next day was like any other normal day, A small get together meet was planned in the evening !When the time of meet was near she was not able to be “herself”. She could sense a strange feeling and she was not sure to judge what is it?! Is it the excitement,happiness or is it the fear? Mind couldn’t make sense  and that’s when she picks up her phone,quickly dials her friend’s number and says about the meet. She says – “something is troubling me, I really don’t know what!”

No idea how big Thanks she owes to her friend today who answered her.Her friend said – “Look at you, what’s gone wrong ?? You were not the same when we were together at college,You dint even spare the college guardian and peon from your dialy talks and morning wishes.You  socialized a lot then. You have pushed yourself into a shell for no mistake of yours. Its high time for you to come out of your shell.Come out before you loose yourself completely”.She said “ok ,thanks for those words,talk to you you later,” and there ended the call with her friend.

She sat down for few seconds and quickly had a recap on every single chapter of her life.Details of her life plastered all over! She smiled and got ready for the quick evening meet.

The meet was extremely  beautiful.Her meet included two most lovely people on the earth and she enjoyed every tiny bit of it.The talks,games,dinner,cake-cutting etc etc.She was amazed and moreover surprised to see their simplicity.She had admired their work  but now she admired them more than their work ! Once she knew them it was never like she had not known them before. Probably she is still searching for the perfect words  to describe those two wonderful folks she met ! She had her best day. Just before the bye she felt like giving them a hug and saying  – “you guys are fantastic”.But she shushed her little voice.

She had taken the first step out of her Shell ! She realized that she had been away from the beautiful world all these days !

Life doesn’t throw only right things at you, Sometimes it throws wrong things at you and thus you value “THE RIGHT”… Though things go wrong,continue to see the world the same way like you did see it before, love the world the same way like you loved it before.Remember the whole world is not bad !! 

Tender Heart

Is there someone who knocks at your door?

Is there someone who begs you to give a chance to make your life beautiful?

Is there someone who wants to fill your life with colours?

OR

is it the other way round-

Is there someone who wants to see light in his/her dark life and likes you to be the bright light that could shine in his/her life forever?

Is there someone whose life is an open book filled with blank pages and likes you to be the one to fill colours to the pages of his/her book forever?

What would you do?

When your mistakes, reflects in front of you, you regret and then you stop.

You don’t go ahead as you might fall.

You don’t trust as you might breakdown.

You don’t splash colours because the only colours you have is black and white.

You don’t want to be the light since you are lost in darkness.

A new person knocks the door again. You ask your heart-“Shall I open the door or keep it closed?”

You wonder -what about those, who have knocked the door long back and still wait for the door of your heart to open.

Choice would be the only one.

But would you ever make a choice?

If YES, would it be the right choice?

My Tender Heart –“Why don't you speak?”

Thanks,sorry,forgive,forget !

BEFORE: [I thought ] – The world is beautiful because of these words!

“Thanks” - A word that can be used as a way of gesture for a person who  has helped you in any possible way! A word from heart to the person who made you smile and happy!

               But I learnt  and felt the real meaning of Thanks when I had to hear - “Thanks, You made me realize life is painful”

“Sorry” – A word that re-joins the broken bond, this word brings a smile on fuming face.Interms of misunderstandings,this single word unites the loved ones and brings them closer!

                But I learnt and felt the real meaning of Sorry when I had to hear – “Sorry, It’s all over between me and you”

“Forgive” – A word that makes one forget all the grudges, also reduces long gap among people and helps to turn two people from enemies to friends!

                But I learnt  and felt the real meaning of Forgive when I had to hear – “Forgive me because I was once part of your life”

“Forget” - A word  that gives you relief from your past mistakes,vanishes  your  worries, that

can make your regrets and pains to disappear!

                But I learnt  and felt  the real meaning of Forget when I had to hear – “Forget me for once and forever”

AFTER : [Now I think] -The world would have been more beautiful without these words !

For all those who  feel life is beautiful with these words,think twice at every step of your life and act accordingly as its better to make sure that these words never come to you in a hard way !

Did i do a "Mistake" ?

Lost is the “understanding” we shared

Lost is the “attachment” we had

Lost is the “deep bonding” we developed

Lost are the days when I could read your thoughts even before your speech

I spent days and nights together

With a wound of guilt seep in

Never did I let those tears pour from my eyes

Nor did I let my heavy heart speak out those words

I swallowed the pain of guilt

Being myself, being strong

Being away from the world

All alone

I asked same question everyday to myself

“Where did we lose our care for each other?”

I blamed myself every moment

“Did I do a mistake?”

Thousand thoughts running across my head all day

And me Eager to flush out all running thoughts at once

But it was time to choose

Whether  ”to hold on”  or “to let go"

I was searching for answers within me

Never were those questions answered by me

I realised   “sorry” was  too short to say

I realised   “Don’t leave me” was too much to ask for

Lost is the “love” and “care”

Lost is the “me”  in “you”

Lost is the “us” in “we”

“Lost”  forever and ever