Ask yourself - Is this 'ME'?

This blog is a little about my life, where I would crib about the way things were going around with me for couple of months. I was with a comfortable, fun loving team around me at office. They kept me lively and happy everyday! I don’t mean they dedicated their time taking good care of me but the team itself was so freaking good that anybody in the team enters the office and goes for a cup of coffee at the beginning of the day together with the whole group, one would definitely forget what was he or she worrying about. All individuals were uniquely crazy and every individual put together rocked, winning hearts of millions. Touch wood!

  It’s always said Life is a journey and millions of people just pass by you in this journey. Some people make the journey wonderful. These set of people are those who made my journey wonderful and kept building up my hopes, confidence every now and then. Probably they are the only reason that I am smiling today! But days pass by and change is mandatory. I cannot expect to work with the same set of people anywhere I go, nor can they (especially in IT industry).It was time for a change for everybody. People got fit into different organizations starting at the beginning of last year. Every month of last year kept me involved in organizing back to back farewells! We are all still connected even today but departed due to different organizations plus locations and can’t hang out on a daily basis 24*7 with each other.

I fell into a new role with a new team. It’s always hopeless to move out of your comfort zone and the same happened to me.I found it a little hard initially to cope up with new role and team. I kept missing my old team very often. The new team had lot of negative vibes pushing my way. I was losing my confidence and also it was bringing down my hopes. I pushed myself very hard to get on track, but felt helpless. Along with this, my personal life was losing track, I had some people whom I was with talking about my attitude and having problems with the way I am. Now I found myself as a very disturbed person,living a routine time table life, not doing what I wanted to do but doing what others wanted from me.I dint even remember when was the last time I stepped out to a roadside tea stall,when was the last time I had been for a long walk in the cold breeze,when was the last time I ran around my work place with crazy talks etc. I questioned myself  “Is this  ‘ME’ ?” The answer was a obvious “NO”. When all things shoot at you at one single shot, you feel down especially when you are not a kind of person who would expect a shoulder to rest on incase of problems. You deal with your problems all alone and that needs a lot of self push. It makes you stronger and each learning will teach a lesson. At the same time, I had my dearest ones who were going through worst phase of their life and expected me to be their strength. Now may be this was an add on for me to force myself to be more strong and push myself back to normal. To serve them happiness, I had to first find my happiness back! Else there was no point in me being their strength!

I had to first build up my confidence and bring up my hopes. That started by finding positive energy in my new team. I recognized the set of people in my new team where I found positiveness and avoided the negative side. This was my first step. Second was I started dealing with myself more than dealing with the ones who had problem with me for the way I am. Their presence dint matter to me anymore. My emotions towards them was made to “null” which means that there is no chance of hurting myself anymore in future with these people. I fell and picked something up! First time when I fell I had picked up “Writing” and this time it is “Drawing”. Third step was I stayed away from networking, like the most famous whats app, fb etc and i found all time in the world for me and only myself. I started knowing more about myself, also learning more about myself. I found the real happiness starting from buying chocolates for little kids, giving more time to parents on call(since they stay far away),helping the ones who expect, sometimes even being a silent support with million empty words!  A little struggle and there I found myself back again – Now did I forget to mention that writing this blog has actually made my heart lighter ;-) Feels awesome! –

 Happiness is all around, sometimes you just tend to lose yourself in this fast phase of life. It’s you who have to notice it, Talk to yourself and start finding your happiness in every tiny little thing that you do. I am sure you will thank yourself for being you! – So deep within ask yourself a question “is this ‘ME’?”