"Small Incident"

          I still remember those childhood days. I was a school going girl.An annual day function happens every year in every school .We students perform many cultural events, entertainment. Also students who have done achievements in that academic year will be awarded too. I was one among many students selected by the school teacher to act in a drama. We students were supposed to give stage performance on a theme as per teacher’s instructions. The drama contained many characters and each role was given to individual students based on their capacity to bring out the best in those characters.

                   The main role was of a Tiger. My Teacher selected me for this role. She said “ Dear,I know you have the potential and you will perfectly fit into this role.This is the main character in whole drama and you would be on maximum focus as you would be performing in all the scenes.” I really don’t know why but I said “No, Please give me a real small role.I don’t want to be on main role.” My Teacher tried to convince me and then finally gave up.She then gave this role to some other student. In return I got a role of a servant where I had to be on stage only for one scene of the drama.Very minimal dialogue.I was very happy.

       That day I came back home and told my mom the story of how I denied to take a major role.I got an unusual reaction from her.Her first question was “Can I know why?” in a very calm tone. I answered “Because I felt I cannot do it.” Then she asked,"How do you know that you wont be able to play that role? Did you give it a try?”. I answered,“No,I just felt”.She blasted me right then.She said “Did you deny that major role and chose to opt for something minimal.Aren’t you ashamed of yourself? Do you even know what does it mean when you decline something best coming your way?” I dint know why this bothered my mom.I was angry on her for scolding me.

       Next day my mom was at my school with me.She spoke to the teacher and I was given the major role back again.This time my teacher dint even ask me if I was OK with the role change.The practise started,continued with endless rehearsals, and finally the day came where we had to perform on stage.Our play was a hit and every character in the play performed the best including me.I was very happy after the play,I could see my mom smiling and clapping her hands.

                  If I look back now on this incident ,I realize she was right.She wanted her daughter to know  that her daughter is capable of it.She pushed me to do that role because she dint want to let her daughter diminish her self confidence on oneself. Now why did I refresh my childhood incident on this page is, since past few years as an IT professional, I have been exploring  new life, new journey. There are times when oppurtunities knock at my door.Many a times I tend to push it away(same like I did during my childhood) because of lack of self –confidence and then I realize I shouldn’t. Back then when I was a kid, I had my mother to take a stand for me when I wasn’t confident on myself.Now I am a grown up individual, my lesson of childhood should be something that I should carry forward,by being confident on  oneself and giving oppurtunities a try before I give up. And recalling this incident always gives me a push.Once you are grown up, you are on your own you see.

      Strange that every step of our parental nurture makes an impact on us to shape us as a wonderful human. Love them and Love yourself because they have shaped you as a beautiful person that you are today.  

Take a chance

 Most of us tend to lead a routine life! Knowingly or unknowingly our days just pass like any other normal day! I was one among many, who was totally involved in my daily routine life! This continued for months together. Few of us work for a job that we were always passionate about and few others just fit into wrong job and get used to it. We don’t choose to do something different nor do we take some time out of our busy schedule to do things that we want to do.

 Recently, as I was lost in my own world at office work and personal stuff, I received a call asking me to conduct classroom training for a batch of people.Now this was something that I was never involved in before and training was never my job. A new challenge on my way. Who cares, I just wanted to say a “NO” and end it up. However for a change, I decided to say a “YES”. I  wanted to try my hands on something new that I have not tried so far.Now I knew that saying a yes,means there was a lot of extra work that was going to come my way and I wanted to give the training as a proper trainer and not end it up for the heck of it. Dates were fixed, huge participants were added as invites, classroom was dedicated for whole week to me and my students.

 Before the training started I had to be thorough on my preparations ,first few days of my initial preparation went for a toss because of my project workload and I was a little lazy,I usually don’t do things until its sitting right on top of my head with deadline :P I had just one week left to start my  training.And I had to start plus finish my preparations as a trainer.I had to be 1000 times more confident on my subject than the participants who would be present there.I dedicated my entire time on my preparations pushing everything else aside including the holidays plus weekends. I felt confident on what I had to speak during my training.

The first day of training, my intention was to make everybody present there very comfortable,so that they feel free to shoot all their doubts at me.From second day till last day went with complete training material subjects in detail.Making everyone interact was part of this ! On my last day of training,I saw myself as a trainer, having the best feeling ever.The entire effort of day and night that I had put in this training felt worth it. To make this memorable I just gave a sheet of paper and asked every participant to scribble positives and negatives of me a trainer.Positives would build up my confidence and negatives would let me know where I should improve on.And these sheets went directly into my diary.I revealed on the last day that this was my first experience as a trainer which surprised all participants.

The last day of my training, when everyone had vacated the room, I was standing there feeling happy and good. We tend to loose ourself very often in this fast phase of our life doing things what we regularly do.Try to explore yourself whenever you get an opportunity to do something different.Dont fear to take a chance.Because every chance taken gives you a learning.Thats when you will know the better you.

Dear Life,

You make me smile

You make me cry

You make me sad

You make me happy

You teach me meaning of emotions

You teach me meaning of feelings

You teach me to hold on

You teach me to let go

You make me see beautiful days

You make me see worst days

You make me feel emptiness

You make me feel myself complete

Sometimes you make me meet the ‘right people’

Sometimes you make me meet the ‘wrong people’

You make few to stay with me forever

You make few to walk away from me forever

Sometimes you pour ‘sorrows’

Sometimes you pour ‘joys’

Sometimes you make me feel ‘weak’

Sometimes you make me feel ‘strong’

When I think everything is right, you slip

When I think everything is over, you go back on track

When I think I win, you show me that I have still a long way to go

When I think I lose, you show me ‘hope’

Dear Life, Whatever you are

I am still in love with you

Because till the journey ends

I will always keep learning!

The other day when it rained!

It is bright sunny day! Unbearable heat, deep summer making us thirsty every now and then. Me and my roommates were walking towards our destination. We had to wait for an auto. After a little while, one of my roommates said – “Hey, Can we please find a place to hide ourselves from sun”. I immediately pointed towards a small shelter on the extreme corner of the road. It was a small sandal repair shop. An old man sat inside that tiny shelter whose job was to repair the shoes. This little shed had a small roof on top that extended a little in the front that could let few more people to stand under the roof shelter.

 My roommate replied – “There, No way! Let’s find a better place”.

 I questioned –“Why, what’s wrong?”

She answered – “Look at that, small shelter, not good enough”

My thoughts reflected back to that day when this small shelter was saver for me!

“ The other day when it rained” – Early morning was just like any other normal day in this city.Alarm rings and there I wake up and get ready and off to office.But the day was not normal in the evening.Unpredictable weather had started the game.It started to rain that evening.It was raining cats and dogs and whole city was in a mess,people not ready to welcome rains and were without umbrella.There I was in the bus.I had no clue if this rain would stop before I reach my place. I was just hoping it will. It dint.I arrived my stop and it was time to get down from the bus, the moment I got down, rain was so heavy that it dint allow me to walk even two steps. I saw my left and then right , all I could see that moment was this small shelter , yea! The same sandal repair shop.I went to this shop and I stood there right under this small roof.This small shelter protected me from getting drenched.Now within two seconds I see a young guy running towards me and occupying the same shelter.He couldn’t go ahead in his bike and had to stop.After a while another gal joins in,She makes a call to her mom and expects her mother  reach this shop with an umbrella to pick her up! Then comes a small girl half already drenched, We all three try to move a little closer to give this little girl some place to fit in under this shelter. Now that was the maximum limit this shelter could hold.Old man who is the owner of the shop said – “Feel good,sorry I don’t have more place to make u all comfortable” . Few among us said –“That’s ok” . I said “This is the best place,Thanks”. The guy next to me smiled!

                Heavy rain continued,wind was blowing so hard like it was angry,rain drops were pouring continuously like it would never stop again.Gals mother had come with an umbrella to pick her daughter.Mother scolds her daughter for not carrying an umbrella and simultenously  continues to wipe her daughters wet head.I watch and remember my mom.There was a smile on my face at that moment.They walk away. After a while a car stops infront of us and picks the small gal.I stand and continue to see the water splashes,traffic jam,shaking trees etc.

                After  waiting for 45 minutes straight I make a choice to wrap my head with dupatta and make a move.Rain had reduced slightly showing a little mercy on me. I started to run and reached my destination.Walk distance was just 10 mins to my place from this stop but rain was at its peak not allowing me even to take a small step. Ah ! If this small shelter was not on my head may be I had no clue where to go the other day ! I was thankful to that small roof on my head the other day!

                Here today I looked at my roommate and answered – “Sometimes small shelter makes huge difference.I would stand right under it,Follow me if you want to” and there I stood ,so did they!

Relating this to Life – Sometimes we meet people who would support us or give us just a minute of happiness .That minute of happiness would have mattered to us a lot.That minute of happiness would be the only reason why we were happy the whole day! We miss to notice them and we forget to thank them or may be sometimes we forget the person itself who had once made us feel good and happy. Notice them and now may be it’s your turn to make them feel good J

Ask yourself - Is this 'ME'?

This blog is a little about my life, where I would crib about the way things were going around with me for couple of months. I was with a comfortable, fun loving team around me at office. They kept me lively and happy everyday! I don’t mean they dedicated their time taking good care of me but the team itself was so freaking good that anybody in the team enters the office and goes for a cup of coffee at the beginning of the day together with the whole group, one would definitely forget what was he or she worrying about. All individuals were uniquely crazy and every individual put together rocked, winning hearts of millions. Touch wood!

  It’s always said Life is a journey and millions of people just pass by you in this journey. Some people make the journey wonderful. These set of people are those who made my journey wonderful and kept building up my hopes, confidence every now and then. Probably they are the only reason that I am smiling today! But days pass by and change is mandatory. I cannot expect to work with the same set of people anywhere I go, nor can they (especially in IT industry).It was time for a change for everybody. People got fit into different organizations starting at the beginning of last year. Every month of last year kept me involved in organizing back to back farewells! We are all still connected even today but departed due to different organizations plus locations and can’t hang out on a daily basis 24*7 with each other.

I fell into a new role with a new team. It’s always hopeless to move out of your comfort zone and the same happened to me.I found it a little hard initially to cope up with new role and team. I kept missing my old team very often. The new team had lot of negative vibes pushing my way. I was losing my confidence and also it was bringing down my hopes. I pushed myself very hard to get on track, but felt helpless. Along with this, my personal life was losing track, I had some people whom I was with talking about my attitude and having problems with the way I am. Now I found myself as a very disturbed person,living a routine time table life, not doing what I wanted to do but doing what others wanted from me.I dint even remember when was the last time I stepped out to a roadside tea stall,when was the last time I had been for a long walk in the cold breeze,when was the last time I ran around my work place with crazy talks etc. I questioned myself  “Is this  ‘ME’ ?” The answer was a obvious “NO”. When all things shoot at you at one single shot, you feel down especially when you are not a kind of person who would expect a shoulder to rest on incase of problems. You deal with your problems all alone and that needs a lot of self push. It makes you stronger and each learning will teach a lesson. At the same time, I had my dearest ones who were going through worst phase of their life and expected me to be their strength. Now may be this was an add on for me to force myself to be more strong and push myself back to normal. To serve them happiness, I had to first find my happiness back! Else there was no point in me being their strength!

I had to first build up my confidence and bring up my hopes. That started by finding positive energy in my new team. I recognized the set of people in my new team where I found positiveness and avoided the negative side. This was my first step. Second was I started dealing with myself more than dealing with the ones who had problem with me for the way I am. Their presence dint matter to me anymore. My emotions towards them was made to “null” which means that there is no chance of hurting myself anymore in future with these people. I fell and picked something up! First time when I fell I had picked up “Writing” and this time it is “Drawing”. Third step was I stayed away from networking, like the most famous whats app, fb etc and i found all time in the world for me and only myself. I started knowing more about myself, also learning more about myself. I found the real happiness starting from buying chocolates for little kids, giving more time to parents on call(since they stay far away),helping the ones who expect, sometimes even being a silent support with million empty words!  A little struggle and there I found myself back again – Now did I forget to mention that writing this blog has actually made my heart lighter ;-) Feels awesome! –

 Happiness is all around, sometimes you just tend to lose yourself in this fast phase of life. It’s you who have to notice it, Talk to yourself and start finding your happiness in every tiny little thing that you do. I am sure you will thank yourself for being you! – So deep within ask yourself a question “is this ‘ME’?”

Do what you Love AND Love what you do

                        Recently we had graduated with  Master degree. To celebrate the last day of our study life, a bunch of friends decided to wear same set of Tee’s on the last day of our exam. Our intention was to have a similar design on all our tee’s –So the concept  of design was something that could relate to our Master degree course , and this tee would  be kept with us further as a memory of our course days! Now the whole concept had to be approved and liked by everyone who will be ordering for tee. Finally we came up with a design which made some friends very happy and kept some others just convinced.

                        The next task was to print this designed tees – It was a job for me and my friend to find the best place to get this done!Using  a little contacts, and taking few suggestions from many around we chose to goto a place.After having lost ourselves on wrong roads multiple times we called the number of this organization, where we got guidance to reach our destination.

                         Little hesitant and confused, thinking if we were at the right place we parked our bike infront of a small gate.There comes a young guy outside the gate asking “Are you the ones who just called few seconds back asking for direction?” We nod our head with a “yes” and he welcomes us inside. It was a small house.We entered  inside and all we could see was 10-12 computers around.Each one were sitting infront of computer,music on with headphones, few youngsters with laptop, few with cup of coffee,few were enjoying their break by playing little games.A small house converted into an office with an environment similar to that of a house.We were then introduced to a man who took care of the whole office.After listening to us,he made us meet his colleague who could help us.

                          When we explained our concept and thoughts to this guy,he replied  “I understand what you want, I don’t enjoy designing this concept,its not my cup of tea.Would you mind If I make you meet my another colleague sitting over  there at the end whose passion is such concepts.I promise he will make your design much better than what you expect from us”. – He called a guy and said “Beta,we have a concept here and you need to design as per the concept!Please listen to their concept and see if it makes you happy?If yes , take it as your work!” Me and my friend were surprised.So you actually have the liberty to choose your work, You have a choice to say a “NO” to things that you are not interested to take up and choose only those which passionates you!This guy listened to our concept and said “I would love to design this”.He quickly designed multiple designs on our concept infront of us and asked us to choose the one we liked.He actually wanted to know if we would need some modifications on the design so that he will do it for us,but trust me he had already designed the best.

                         These few lucky set of people who worked here enjoyed their work.They dint have time constraints of login and log out.They can come and finish their work anytime they would love to.A bunch of young people were given a chance to show up their creativity in designing. They were free to design what they love and their designs will make wonders.These designs would be on tee’s which would then be on sale.Designing and colouring.This office dint have boss and employee concept,instead had a concept of 'you are your own boss'.You wear what makes you feel good and confident,You come in the time you feel great to work,you design what makes you feel complete, you take a break whenever you want to,and most of all you be what you are!

                          It was a treat to talk to these set of young people,they were very happy in the place they were. They said “when you do what you love and you get paid for it,what more can you ask for in life!”

                            There is a saying – “If every day morning when you get up from bed ,you are dragging yourself to work not being happy, then it’s time to move out of your current job and get into a job that you would have always loved to do” !- Do what you love and Love what you do