I guess we have many people out there who fit in for an “arranged marriage”! May it be out of choice or may it be on compulsion
Few reasons as to how do you fit in for an arranged marriage would be - “Dint find my Mr. Perfect so far”, “Dint fall in love with the right person hence can’t take further chances and tolerate any more heart breaks”, “Fell in love with the right person but dint end up being together so that is the end of it”, “Never fell in love” (Though I find this reason insane for normal human being), “Was completely focused on my career growth at my 20’s and plus, and its already too late now to take in chances ,to fall in love”(I think age doesn’t matter to fall in love) or the most famous one would be “I trust my parent’s choice and I want to keep them happy”, Reasons would be never ending!
Keeping the reasons apart, now that one is here, this is what you would need to go through- A total crappy process yet looks beautiful if everything goes out to be fine. Now that you are IN, here is all that you have to take! “Pain” OR “Gain” you judge it yourself.
What is it?
DEFINITION: Risk taken by an individual to spend entire life with a stranger with hopes of having beautiful life together forever.
The entire process of getting oneself hooked with someone in an arranged marriage- This is the way it goes (I may not be absolutely correct in mentioning the process as I am not familiar to this and I guess this process also differs with respect to different states and castes.)
PROCESS
A SHEET OF PAPER – This is a sheet of paper that is designed based on your date and time of birth which holds your complete details (bio-data) and would be passed on to those people with whom you would like to take chance with. This sheet of paper is called horoscope. This sheet would also contain your height, age, work company details etc etc .Similar to your “resume” when one is in search of job. The only difference here is you are in search of a “person” and not job. Based on this sheet of paper, (comparing the horoscope of both guy and gal) one would actually tell you how compatible you are with each other, how well you get along etc. Strange that people trust this sheet more than themselves. Once the person you believe (This person makes money here with this job) tells you that your horoscope is a match, you can go ahead. Then it follows the next step.
SAY CHEESE – Since your horoscope is declared “good to go ahead”, next is the exchange of photograph. Of course one should know how the partner looks before they say a “yes” or a “No”. Trust me now that you are on sale the best you look in the photograph the more you are on demand! May it be photo effects or may it be natural. The photographer would ask you say cheese and click from all angles to make you look your best in the photo. Your photo may be a “pass” to him/her or “fail”. If it’s a pass, then there you go further.
CHECK THEM OUT – Now that there are high chances of you getting hooked up as the photograph is a “pass” you would definitely want to make sure that you are getting into the right family. So you just do a check on family background directly or indirectly with the help of family friends, cousins, neighbors, colleagues (In short trying to collect as much information as possible with all known people, who knows about the person you chose, the family, and the background/past). Lot of miscommunication happens at this phase as people are more interested in other family matters. Now that you give them a chance, why would they ignore it..!
If you are the only daughter or only son - then you are just great, who the hell cares about your negative points, After all you will be the Owner of kingdom after your parents! Also if you are a part of a big family with rich dad and big status you are on high demand.
FACE TO FACE – After all the above steps if you have still retained your interest of sticking onto arranged marriage then here you go for “face-to-face” meet with the person of your choice (sorry! Did I just say your choice?! I meant to say the world’s choice for you). Both families decide to meet up, along with the guy and gal giving them a chance to look at each other and talk to each other.(Early days Location would have been temple, own house with gal in a traditional saree serving tea/coffee but now we have improved to meet at CCD etc and place an order for Coffee) .I don’t know what one would talk to a total stranger (I don’t find topics to talk to a “known” person when I am one on one with them), what details one would share with a stranger.Morever “TRUST” – how? Lucky those years 2010 and plus gives chances of multiple meets before a guy/gal makes their precious decision (Am I supposed to say we have improved :P)
SIGN OFF DEAL - So the final decision of being REJECTED(for whatsoever reasons it may be-like your height, weight, looks,past,family,character,age,job, Sometimes even for the most silly reasons which is not even your fault) OR decision of being SELECTED is declared to the other family and the date of wedding is fixed. Wait a min! Did I miss to say the Sign-off deal includes the dowry matters as to how much would you pay(may it be in terms of money,gold,estate,car etc.) to get yourself selected.
In short, you are hired! You would have lost your patience during this process and at times you would have also felt that you should NOT have opted for an arranged marriage. Basically you are now here to start a new life filled with responsibilities and risks with an unknown person. [I missed to add the word “happiness” in previous sentence :P ]Hope you have chosen the right person and are being lucky..!
Was just wondering if I could make my customer read this blog ;) –Because all I told him that moment was “Arranged marriages does happen in India and works out many a times” :)
