Flaws to Perfection

She was funny, naughty and crazy.

She made millions of people smile in her journey every day.

There were her set of bad days too where she lost her own smile and she was blamed.

She owned a heart filled up with unconditional love and care.

She hugged people when they felt lonely and held the hands when they needed support.

There were days when she had lost all her strength to help and she was blamed.

She respected feelings and valued relationships.

She compromised to keep them happy and to live more moments with them.

There were days where she lost herself completely and she was blamed

She worked hard to give her best to people around

She spent tiring days and sleepless nights

There were days where she was restless and she was blamed

She loved truly and deeply

She bonded and connected from heart

There were days when she had to let go with deep pain within and she was blamed

She wiped their tears of sorrows

She gave her shoulder to rest

There were days when she had to wipe her own tears and she was blamed

She was known for her soft speech

She made wonders with words

There were days when she was left with no words and she was blamed

            She sees the change

            She see the different her

            She sees that the more people she loses, the more she finds herself

I want to get Lost !

I want to get lost  

In an unknown land

With plenty of trees

To feel the fresh breeze

I want to get lost

In a place where I can see the blue sky

With colorful rainbow

To see beautiful clouds

I want to get lost

In a place of mountains

Where I can shout at the top of my voice

To listen to my own echo

I want to get lost

In a place where I see the birds

Which flies high

To hear melodious chirping

I want to get lost

In a place of long route

With sand on the ground

To keep walking miles

I want to get lost

In a place of sunlight

Where I see the sun rays

To shine in the direction of light

I want to get lost

In a place of endless road

Where I have hundred errands

To run as fast as I can

I want to get lost

In a place of happiness

Where I keep smiling

To spread bucket of joy

I want to get lost

In a place of calmness

Where I can listen loud to my inner voice

To follow what my heart says

I want to get lost

In a place with no noise

With no one around

To be with only me

I want to get lost

Completely and totally

For now or may be forever

To an unknown land

Because that someday when I get lost

May be I will be myself again!

"Small Incident"

          I still remember those childhood days. I was a school going girl.An annual day function happens every year in every school .We students perform many cultural events, entertainment. Also students who have done achievements in that academic year will be awarded too. I was one among many students selected by the school teacher to act in a drama. We students were supposed to give stage performance on a theme as per teacher’s instructions. The drama contained many characters and each role was given to individual students based on their capacity to bring out the best in those characters.

                   The main role was of a Tiger. My Teacher selected me for this role. She said “ Dear,I know you have the potential and you will perfectly fit into this role.This is the main character in whole drama and you would be on maximum focus as you would be performing in all the scenes.” I really don’t know why but I said “No, Please give me a real small role.I don’t want to be on main role.” My Teacher tried to convince me and then finally gave up.She then gave this role to some other student. In return I got a role of a servant where I had to be on stage only for one scene of the drama.Very minimal dialogue.I was very happy.

       That day I came back home and told my mom the story of how I denied to take a major role.I got an unusual reaction from her.Her first question was “Can I know why?” in a very calm tone. I answered “Because I felt I cannot do it.” Then she asked,"How do you know that you wont be able to play that role? Did you give it a try?”. I answered,“No,I just felt”.She blasted me right then.She said “Did you deny that major role and chose to opt for something minimal.Aren’t you ashamed of yourself? Do you even know what does it mean when you decline something best coming your way?” I dint know why this bothered my mom.I was angry on her for scolding me.

       Next day my mom was at my school with me.She spoke to the teacher and I was given the major role back again.This time my teacher dint even ask me if I was OK with the role change.The practise started,continued with endless rehearsals, and finally the day came where we had to perform on stage.Our play was a hit and every character in the play performed the best including me.I was very happy after the play,I could see my mom smiling and clapping her hands.

                  If I look back now on this incident ,I realize she was right.She wanted her daughter to know  that her daughter is capable of it.She pushed me to do that role because she dint want to let her daughter diminish her self confidence on oneself. Now why did I refresh my childhood incident on this page is, since past few years as an IT professional, I have been exploring  new life, new journey. There are times when oppurtunities knock at my door.Many a times I tend to push it away(same like I did during my childhood) because of lack of self –confidence and then I realize I shouldn’t. Back then when I was a kid, I had my mother to take a stand for me when I wasn’t confident on myself.Now I am a grown up individual, my lesson of childhood should be something that I should carry forward,by being confident on  oneself and giving oppurtunities a try before I give up. And recalling this incident always gives me a push.Once you are grown up, you are on your own you see.

      Strange that every step of our parental nurture makes an impact on us to shape us as a wonderful human. Love them and Love yourself because they have shaped you as a beautiful person that you are today.  

Take a chance

 Most of us tend to lead a routine life! Knowingly or unknowingly our days just pass like any other normal day! I was one among many, who was totally involved in my daily routine life! This continued for months together. Few of us work for a job that we were always passionate about and few others just fit into wrong job and get used to it. We don’t choose to do something different nor do we take some time out of our busy schedule to do things that we want to do.

 Recently, as I was lost in my own world at office work and personal stuff, I received a call asking me to conduct classroom training for a batch of people.Now this was something that I was never involved in before and training was never my job. A new challenge on my way. Who cares, I just wanted to say a “NO” and end it up. However for a change, I decided to say a “YES”. I  wanted to try my hands on something new that I have not tried so far.Now I knew that saying a yes,means there was a lot of extra work that was going to come my way and I wanted to give the training as a proper trainer and not end it up for the heck of it. Dates were fixed, huge participants were added as invites, classroom was dedicated for whole week to me and my students.

 Before the training started I had to be thorough on my preparations ,first few days of my initial preparation went for a toss because of my project workload and I was a little lazy,I usually don’t do things until its sitting right on top of my head with deadline :P I had just one week left to start my  training.And I had to start plus finish my preparations as a trainer.I had to be 1000 times more confident on my subject than the participants who would be present there.I dedicated my entire time on my preparations pushing everything else aside including the holidays plus weekends. I felt confident on what I had to speak during my training.

The first day of training, my intention was to make everybody present there very comfortable,so that they feel free to shoot all their doubts at me.From second day till last day went with complete training material subjects in detail.Making everyone interact was part of this ! On my last day of training,I saw myself as a trainer, having the best feeling ever.The entire effort of day and night that I had put in this training felt worth it. To make this memorable I just gave a sheet of paper and asked every participant to scribble positives and negatives of me a trainer.Positives would build up my confidence and negatives would let me know where I should improve on.And these sheets went directly into my diary.I revealed on the last day that this was my first experience as a trainer which surprised all participants.

The last day of my training, when everyone had vacated the room, I was standing there feeling happy and good. We tend to loose ourself very often in this fast phase of our life doing things what we regularly do.Try to explore yourself whenever you get an opportunity to do something different.Dont fear to take a chance.Because every chance taken gives you a learning.Thats when you will know the better you.